Archive for February, 2014

February 27, 2014

Smoothie Ideas

February 27, 2014

Women Are Dying to be Thin

February 26, 2014

Everything is exactly on time.

I probably wrote this blog entry numerous times in my mind. I have thought the same chain of thoughts for a while now, so often that it seems like a broken record in my head.

I’m tired. The type of tired where it is an effort to trudge up the stairs to the train, the type of tired that is so mentally exhausted and bruised that I need a small getaway to set things straight again. The type of tired where I forget my wallet twice in one week, and have to bail on plans with a friend because I wouldn’t make it in time, or walk back to my apartment in the freezing NYC endless winter 2014. I feel like I am thinking about something else entirely while doing mundane tasks.

I am completely, and utterly exhausted. My eyes have been sore since Friday, and I have bags that cover half my face. I am making a resolution to go to bed at an early time tonight and take care of myself. I want to sleep for a long time and have a week where no one speaks to me. I know that on a deeper level, this isn’t actually what I want, but silence sounds so tempting. Stopping the automatic, fake smile that I paste on day after day seems so tempting. I feel like I am constantly drowning. I have scheduled plans everyday this week because I know that if I don’t do it, I will give in to buying some wine, streaming Netflix, and feeling worse about myself.

Emotionally, I feel ridiculously drained. More so than I remember feeling in a long time. I know that these steps back are good in their own way. There will never be those good days, if everyday was a good day. But lately, it feels like everyday  (probably in the last two weeks or so) has been a battle to face. One of my biggest weaknesses is that I have high expectations, and a bad reaction when those things don’t appear. I have high expectations for my friends, my relationships, and the standards I place on myself. I know that I am the only person judging me, and therefore the only person standing in my own way. Things out of my control changed the position I was so excited about accepting, and it is a disheartening place to be. A bad day, a bad week, a bad month, a bad year does not mean that you have a bad life.

Almost two years later from when I started this blog, I am probably the healthiest I have ever been in my life physically. I make it a priority to walk as many places as possible, I start the day off with a workout sometimes, and I try not to miss yoga because it offers a mental escape for me.

I have noticed that I embody some traits that may be great for other people, but I deserve that same love and respect towards myself. I am the listening ear to many problems yet I don’t feel comfortable voicing my own problems, to the point where I have started and stopped journals ten times this year because pages don’t judge you. The truth is my friends don’t judge me either, but I judge me, so I assume that everyone is too.

It is all quite idiotic but very valid, and I am trying to find a balance between taking care of myself and moving forward. Right now, it feels like one step forward, two steps back. I know that life owes me nothing, and that I have a lot to be thankful for. I am grateful I live in a beautiful exposed brick loft and I am able to afford it. I am grateful I can buy organic food, fruits, vegetables, and I have never gone hungry a day in my life. I know that the problems in my life are completely and utterly relative.

I wrote this post because I think it needs to be brought out that no matter what it looks like on the outside, no one has it together 100 percent of the time. I know that my story is better and worse than other people. No one knows my circumstances quite like I do, but I also know that I could easily be doing more to take care of myself. This is a priority. Next week is my birthday, and I am not going to let my bad February dominate my life. The pity party is over. To be honest, it is probably the most motivated I have been in recent memory to change my situation, so I will make sure I do. It’ll pay off. And when it does, it will be big.

Here’s to bad weeks/months/days/years – they just make you better. If you let them.



Tags: ,
February 25, 2014


“This is one more piece of advice I have for you: don’t get impatient. Even if things are so tangled up you can’t do anything, don’t get desperate or blow a fuse and start yanking on one particular thread before it’s ready to come undone. You have to realize it’s going to be a
long process and that you’ll work on things slowly, one at a time.”

-Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

February 25, 2014


There’s a special place in my heart for the ones who were with me at my lowest and still loved me when I wasn’t very loveable.

-Yasmin Mogahed

February 25, 2014

An Entry from zenhabits – This Moment

This Moment

Posted: 24 Feb 2014 09:04 AM PST

By Leo Babauta

We all suffer, every day: worry, procrastination, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, irritated, angry, frustrated, wishing things were different, comparing ourselves to others, worried we’re missing out, wishing other people would be different, feeling offended, loneliness, fear of failure, not wanting to do something, wishing we had less fat or bigger boobs or bigger muscles, angry at being controlled, wanting to find the perfect someone, wishing our partner was more perfect, stressed about finances, not wanting to think about problems, not knowing how to fix things, uncertain about choices, rushing from one task to the next, not liking our jobs.

And yet, these problems are self-created.

They’re real, but our tricky minds have created them. The problems are in our heads, created by some ideal/fantasy/expectation of how we wished the world would be, or hope it will be but fear it won’t be. It exists in our heads.

Try this, for a minute: let all of that go for a moment, and just pay attention to the physical things around you right now. Your body, the light, sounds, the thing you’re sitting on, the things moving or sitting still around you. Don’t judge them against what they should be, but just observe what they actually are.

See this moment as it is, without all the things you’re worried/frustrated/angry about. Let go of all of those things, and just see this moment.

It is perfect, as it is.

Accept this moment. Cherish it. This is real, and it is wonderful.

You can go back to worrying about everything else in a moment.

February 25, 2014

Obsessed with Cauliflower at the Moment

February 25, 2014

February 24, 2014

Bean Soup with Goat Cheese and Spinach

I can’t take credit for this one, but my best friend/roommate has this amazing knack for creating recipes out of thin air, and this one came together perfectly. It lasts all week for lunch, and it is easy to make. There is a slight creaminess and tanginess from the goat cheese, heartiness from the black beans, and did I mention it is super cheap?


1 can black beans

2 roasted cloves of garlic

Freshly cracked black pepper, to taste

Sea salt, to taste

1/2 cup veggie stock or broth

1/4 cup goat cheese

1 tablespoon olive oil


Wash black beans well. Saute with roasted garlic, pepper and salt and olive oil. After 4 minutes or so, toss ingredients in a blender and add veggie stock or broth. Add goat cheese. Blend well. Add water, one tablespoon at a time if the soup is too thick for your liking.

Hope this week finds you happy and healthy.




February 20, 2014

Spinach Mushroom Toast with Goat Cheese

This dish is delicious, simple, and great for people on a budget.

When I moved to NYC six months ago (Six months ago? What?) I knew that I would have to make cuts to my budget when it comes to food, and it is important to buy as many fresh veggies as possible. Since moving here, I have cut down on my meat consumption significantly because of the cost. Going semi-vegetarian was never hard for me, but it is not a lifestyle that I would force on anyone. My body probably performs its best on a completely vegan diet, but I can’t really imagine a life without cheese. While I never cooked that much meat in general, I do enjoy ordering fish or seafood when I am out. We all have different priorities and goals.

During every grocery trip, mushrooms, a good, hearty bread and spinach are always on my list. You can make something similar with your favorite veggies, arugula and goat cheese are always winners, with some freshly cracked black pepper.


1 slice country unbleached whole wheat bread, usually an artisanal variety (I love the unevenness of the slices and supporting local bakeries, which is easy to do when you are shopping in a local grocery store in Brooklyn, but use whatever you can find)

1/2 cup baby spinach leaves, or whatever green you prefer

1/2 cup sauteed mushrooms

1 generous tablespoon soft goat cheese

Freshly cracked black pepper, if desired


Toast bread if desired. Spread with cheese and top with spinach and mushrooms. Top with freshly cracked black pepper if desired.