22 Revelations

At 22, so much of my life was a big question mark. Not the good kind of question mark, where everyday holds something new, but rather the question mark that comes from instability. I found a job in a new city and when it didn’t fulfill me in any of the ways I thought it would, I quickly realized I needed something new, and I needed it quickly. I was waking up with no purpose, trying to impress people I could care less about. It taught me that the world I wanted to be in was not what I thought it would be, and that it is okay to walk away and try again. I went on more interviews than I can count, and tried seeing myself at the companies that called me back. I met new people, and learned more about presenting myself the way I want to be perceived. I started writing again. I started doing things I loved again, and I feel like a whole new person. I was haunted once my images of this woman I could be, and everyday I am closer to becoming her. The moment I started focusing on myself and what really made me happy, the sooner I discovered everything else was falling into place. I stopped being mean to myself in my head. I buy things that make me happy, even though I save most of the money I make. I found a good balance. I find that doing simple things to take care of myself and my mental state have resulted in a whole new outlook on life. I don’t think that this is right for everyone, nor should it be. Starting cooking more and blogging was one of the ways I channelled all the negative energy in my life. I feel disappointments less harshly in my head, because tomorrow is a new day. I stand by things that make me happy, and I don’t apologize for them. I hit the yoga mat often. From my eating habits and drinking tons of water and tea, I have brighter eyes, better, bouncy hair, and I love being naked.

As someone who is so used to routine, graduation was such a  change for me. Twenty two years of my life were mapped out  through school. I knew the path to take and what it would entail, and there were not many surprises that came along the way.

You know how a new beginning, like a new year, new age, or a new job can spark on a bunch of different realizations? This is to honor the new person I am, and to acknowledge that there is still so many parts of me that will continue to change. I am sure there are those people out there that are annoyed by the positive, by the people who post motivational quotes or pictures, by those who see the bright side. There are days I don’t want to see the bright side. I want to stuff the bright side into a box and leave it alone in the attic and never see it again. And then I realize that it is much easier to focus on the negative then it is to acknowledge that there is so much going right in your life. This is one great therapeutic effect that blogs have. Seeing everything laid out for you in brightly lit HTML makes me realize certain truths about myself. This year, the year I am going to be 23, will hold so many truths, so many mistakes, so many reasons I should change. Maybe in a couple months, I’ll start a fashion blog. Maybe I will get a tattoo, or fall in love, or travel the world. I hope that whatever I decide to do, I honor being original and being myself. It is the only person I am good at being, and I am only competing with the person I was yesterday. These are the quotes that have gotten me through some hard times, and gotten me to think about life differently. I am sure all the yoga and introspection has helped too, but I am a lot less anxious than I ever was before, which is such a big accomplishment for me. I spend more time thinking about what is right then wrong, what is great, and what is beautiful. I am sure all the people who have surrounded me with their positivity have also been so helpful. Thank you all for reading this and for those who have made such an impact on my life, I thank you for being in my life.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: